F---ed Up guitarist Ben 'Young Governor' Cook would like to set something straight -- contrary to reports swirling around the Internet, no one in his band has a bone to pick with Sonic Youth. Nor did they ever record a track slagging the seminal art-rockers.

"I'd just like to clarify that the majority of F---ed Up are huge Sonic Youth fans and the song we wrote is not about the band at all, it's more of an homage to their fans," Cook clarifies for Spinner.

Affectionately titled 'Cranking to Sonic Youth' (and later explained to Vice as "crying and wanking at the same time") the song was reportedly inspired by an interview Thurston Moore gave to VBS.tv's 'Soft Focus' in which he referred to F---ed Up's music as 'dude-core,' a term that didn't sit too well with the Toronto punks.

Cook reveals that this is only partly-true.
The impromptu number, which Cook recorded with F---ed Up drummer Jonah 'Mr. Jo' Falco and London photographer and Vice mag contributor Ben Rayner during ATP's Nightmare Before Christmas in England last December, was spurred by sheer boredom as much as anything else.

"We went looking for something to do and found this little recording booth," Cook says. "It was just meant for people to go in and lip-sync to Hannah Montana and s--t like that. But we go in and tell these two old, rough, hooligan-type engineer guys that the three of us want to record a record in thirty minutes."

"I get on the drums, Jonah gets on the guitar and we tell Ben to write lyrics about his thoughts on the ATP festival and whatever else," he continues. "The first song he did was about cranking -- crying and masturbating at the same time -- to Sonic Youth."

Seemingly paranoid that more rumours might arise, Cook asserts that the cheeky little ditty, which consists of the following four lines: 'Cranking to Sonic Youth / 'Goo' in your hand, your favourite band / You love Thurston, you love Kim / You love art and you are thin,' isn't an assault on chubby people either. So everybody can relax.

"We're not just trying to reach out to the thin fans of Sonic Youth, it's about all sizes," the guitarist says. "Obviously, we're not a fat-aphobic band because [frontman] Damian Abraham is a 300 pound walrus-beast of a man."



Facetiousness aside, Cook takes his role as F---ed spin-doctor pretty seriously. "If people want to think that there is beefing between bands and we've written this song, I kind of think it's cool on a hip-hop level. But on a reality level, it just makes it awkward for us to see each other now," he says. "We're both on Matador, so for there to be any bad vibes, that's not good."

Cook doesn't really think the F---ed Up vs. Sonic Youth faux-feud will impact relations between the labelmates. He knows that everyone is on good terms -- even after the jarring 'dude-core' comment.

"Kim Gordon came and wished us well before we played [our ATP set] and Damian actually asked her before we went on, 'What's with you guys calling us 'dude-core'?' She was like, 'Oh, it was just a joke. We love you guys,' so there's definitely no beef," Cook says.

As for the recording session that sparked this ridiculous fiasco, apparently it yielded some real bangers. "The [five] tracks ended up sounding really good," Cook says. "They're just kind of gritty, ignorant punk songs with no bass and just the most out-of-tune guitar."

Keep an eye out for the infamous 'Cranking to Sonic Youth' to emerge in the next few weeks, as Cook hints it might surface online. Those interested in the rest of the tunes will have to wait for the release of a full-blown album down the road. A formal band name has yet to materialize for this new side-project, but considering they've already introduced us to the term "cranking," we can't wait to hear what they come up with.